Letters of Annoyance
Published Letters
There are inane slogans
in the Forest City!
(The London Free Press)
Stop with the lists already!
(National Post)
Re: 'proactive'
(Globe & Mail)
The Year 2000
(Globe & Mail)
Letter of Annoyance
To: the media
Dear Editor,
We would like to express our growing annoyance and alarm at the level of violence in our society.
It seems that Canadians are unable to get themselves worked up into a murderous lather the way we used to.
Back in the good old days -- and by that we mean the heady days of the Great War -- Canadian soldiers were among the most, if not the most, feared of allied soldiers. The Boche could often be heard wetting themselves at the sound of Canadians getting ready to go over the top: "Beauty trench, eh? Yeah, too bad we have to leave it to kick those hosers in the ass."
We would like to draw your attention to the following statistics:
Per 100,000 people US Canada US over Canada Guns 85,000 24,000 3.5 times Murders 7.6 2.0 4.1 times Murders with guns 5.2 0.6 8.7 times Murders without guns 2.4 1.4 1.7 times Though we fall far behind the Americans in total murders, if we take guns out of the equation, we can see that we are almost as murderous as our friendly cousins to the south. The implications are clear: we need more guns.
To fall behind in this vital area would be folly. What happens when the US finally decides that they've had enough of our Cuba-loving ways? We won't be ready to defend ourselves with the maniacal frenzy that is our proud Canadian heritage.
Yours sincerely,
Mark Rayner, Esq.
For The Emily Chesley Reading Circle
The Emily Chesley Reading Circle was established to further the study of Emily Chesley, a long-overlooked Canadian speculative fiction writer of the late-Victorian period, who lived for some time in the London, Ontario region.
Letters of Annoyance and Letters of Approval are produced by the Circle as a service to the public.
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