Louis Pasteur was a fraud,
In fact, his real name was Todd.
The quarter brother of our inventive Flannigan,
Despite warnings, Todd would lie, cheat and he would steal again.
Now the issue is this, and it’s something the matter,
That Flannigan’s invention was stolen, making Todd’s wallet
fatter.
And so it came to pass,
When one evening Flannigan found a lass
With a whoring past, it’s true,
And whom he’d had most recently in the loo.
No, kindly disregard her coloured and troubled origin,
For at heart she was a kind soul, merely obsessed with funneling Gin.
“In the name of knowledge, your breasts shall bear,
Not for the Flannigan gropery, but the ribbon for the science fair.”
Onto the buoyant bosom of his lady whom he loved,
Went a contraption bent on sanitation shove’d.
To purify that which into an infant’s mouth goes,
Into sanitized tins the machine throws.
And relief will be given to ladies whose infants are
new,
While the chaps can retire from the lady of the Brothel, Sue.
This invention was taken from his workshop so tidy,
By the laggard Todd, who returned to France from ol’ Blighty.
And soon the contraption was protecting things like bovine
liquor,
Stopping man and woman from ever getting sicker.
Though Todd’s thievery helped mankind, his deed
was shady,
Yet Flannigan’s version is not missed by the brothel lady.
